Dutch Impressions: Language - Very Sick Curses
I started learning to speak Dutch at the age of four, when I was still at Curaçao. That, an being on a school there where Dutch was the de facto standard during lessons helped me master quite a bit of the lingo. But I wasn’t prepared for the most important part of learning a language: the curse words. And boy, was I surprised..
Two months in the Netherlands and a friend of mine’s using some weird words to express his discontent about something I can’t remember. My keen senses immediately told me that those words could be slightly not done to be used in the presence of adults, but hey, what do my senses know? Coupla days later I get a reprimand in class for something and I uttered some of those Forbidden Words: tiefuszooi (do forgive my lack of phonetics).
The teacher blew her lid and angrily asked me if I even knew what I was saying and during her educational slap on the wrist that lasted waaay too long for me to be slightly paying attention, my only thought was: Hold on, I’m on to something! Hmm.. Better look as if I regret what I said or else she’ll never stop yapping..
What I learned after that event is that the swear word I used, was derived from tiefus - or typhoid in English. After a coupla months/years I found out that a large part of Dutch swear words consist of the use of an incredible range of diseases:
tering - tuberculosis
klere - cholera
pokke - smallpox
kanker - the Big C
pest - the plague
pleuris - pleurisy
Using the Big C as a swear word can sometimes be regarded as too harsh with certain people, especially if they had some very bad memories concerning loved ones. You even know immediately if someone’s from the city of The Hague, because the use of kanker is an integral part of their vernacular (no, I’m not saying that all people from The Hague use it, back off..).
Now, I wasn’t used to that form of creativity and while it was kinda amusing, through the years I realized that I’ve never encountered another language that uses diseases as swear words: English, Spanish, French, German, Italian - all Western languages, I know, but none of them really apply this typical flavor to their foul language. Last month I was chatting with a friend of mine (hiya, Tama!) and we were discussing this subject; I concluded that this use of language could be based on the literal, almost biblical use of swear words - cursing, the Old Testament style.
I remembered this also being used in English, so I Googled on A pox on you!, which was interesting, but still I think that the Dutch are truly the Masters of Disease-ridden Swear Words.
I’ve often wondered how long it would take for HIV/AIDS to be added to the list, but while people don’t have any problems using diseases that have killed millions in the past (and, to this day some are very actively adding to the body count), it still seems not done to use current pandemic illnesses. Kinda weird, to be PC about one thing and not about another, dontchathink?
Oh, and in case you’re wondering: yes, I’ve used all of those words and still do from time to time.. Hypocritical? Yes, but not as much as yo’ mama 
